Last week, Ashton – er, Chris – Kutcher took the industry by storm at the Teen Choice Awards. Like me, you probably have very low expectations for an awards show that hands out surfboards. Or one that gives Ashton Kutcher the lifetime achievement award. But somehow, on the whole, it didn’t fail. Grown-up Ashton (maybe clinging to his youth a little with the baseball cap) showed up and gave a pretty great acceptance speech – I mean, legit speechwriters are doing actual fist bumps over this. I’m not sure that the screeching girls in the audience heard anything he said, but those of us not wearing training bras will get it.