No Diet Day

Junk Food Taxi

How’s your diet going?  You know, that one you promised to start in January and then again in February and again in March?  Yeah, us, too.

Even if you haven’t really gotten started, we think you deserve a break just for thinking about it.  Did you know there’s this thing called “No Diet Day” in May?….Yeah, it’s mysteriously absent from our calendars, too.  This should obviously be right up there with Thanksgiving, the most hallowed binge-eating holiday of all.  We just might circulate a petition to get No Diet Day its own 4-day weekend.

So, please, put down the baby carrots and fall off the food wagon with us, as we run with manic enthusiasm to the nearest grocery store.  Here is a list of items that you 100% need to have if you plan on doing this right:

1.  Thanksgiving Pants:

Thanksgiving Pants

2.  This cup so you can drink two different beers at the same time:

Double Glass

3.  A flight to Europe so that you can get an instant Pizza from a vending machine:

Pizza Vending Machine

4.  This exhaust cooker so that you can grill a burger while you’re driving:

Exhaust Cooker

5.   Then this bad boy tray so that you remain classy while eating that burger:

Car Tray

6.  Trongs, so that you can go the entire day without utensils:

Trongs

7.  Pen-Tensils to send the message to your coworkers that you take eating REALLY SERIOUSLY:

Pentensils

8. This fake moldy bag so that you can guarantee no one steals your lunch!   (I’m talking to you, stickyfingers.)

Mold Bag

9.  A waffle maker in order to make CINNABON WAFFLES:

Cinnabon Waffles

10.  AND FINALLY….one of these energy pods so you can enjoy your food coma in style!

Nap Pod

Tell us what your favorite No Diet Day indulgence will be in the comments below!

Laurie is a native New Yorker. She currently works in advertising, but most of her thoughts involve celebrity gossip, bagels, and pepperoni pizza. You can follow Laurie at www.lauriesadove.com.

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