Tree Hugger


Is there a point at which it’s no longer acceptable to have your Christmas tree up?  Is it St. Patrick’s Day?  Easter?  4th of July?

I went plastic years ago, and it just makes it so much harder to pack up the tree after Christmas.  I mean, there’s no carpet of needles on the floor.  It’s not going to dry out and burn down my apartment building because it’s indestructible.  My cat hasn’t peed in the tree stand because there isn’t one.   Help me.  I don’t know what to do, AND I’M AFRAID NO MAN WILL EVER LOVE ME BECAUSE I HAVE AN UNHEALTHY ATTACHMENT TO MY CHRISTMAS TREE.


Someone who’s hoping to have a boyfriend by Valentine’s Day.

PS – Please don’t judge my crooked table lamp.


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