A State of Emergency
It’s snowing outside, folks, and you know what that means? WIDESPREAD PANIC BECAUSE WET MELTY THINGS ARE FALLING FROM THE SKY! IT BURNNNNS!
We’re due to get up to a foot of snow, but I can’t take a storm named “Janus” seriously. Come and get me Janus. I’ll be the one in her pj’s guzzling DayQuil and enjoying the winter scene outside her window.
Besides, if I were to panic, bread, milk, and tp would not be on my emergency shopping list. To all you people out there looting the grocery store, just leave me some Twizzlers, a rotisserie chicken, and any Redbox movies featuring Hugh Grant. What’s on your list?
Be careful out there, folks.