Face Your Fears!
The whole month of October freaks me out. Menacing faces on pumpkins, girls in slutty nurse costumes, the profusion of miniature candy bars – it’s all not normal…So yeah, I’m the scrooge that keeps her lights out on Halloween because even children look like serial killers to me. I just want to build a panic room in my home and go there ’til November.
It feels apropos to talk about how today is also “Face Your Fears Day.” I have no idea who made up this holiday, but I blame Joe Rogan (as I do for most things I can’t explain).
I give you my favorite list of the 10 weirdest fears (and if you have any of these, write me so that I can exploit you for my own literary acclaim):
- Aulophobia: Fear of flutes (sounds like a bad band camp experience to me)
- Geniophobia: Fear of chins (think about it – how weird are chins?!)
- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words (I love the asshole who named this one)
- Linonophobia: Fear of string (for me, this includes people who talk about string theory)
- Phobophobia: Fear of fear (it is probably insanely hard to be you)
- Koinoniphobia: Fear of rooms (guessing this stems from your mom’s love of wallpaper)
- Pternophobia: Fear of being tickled by feathers (Uhhhh, this is more like a DREAM COME TRUE)
- Anatidaephobia: Fear that somewhere a duck is watching you (Bath time must have been a total nightmare for you)
- Consecotaleophobia: Fear of chopsticks (never ever ever underestimate a chopsticks splinter)
- Barophobia: Fear of gravity (likely now includes the movie with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney)
And assuming your phobias don’t include a fear of lists, you might get a kick out of The Phobia List – the webMD for all your neuroses.
What are your fears?
*Photo Source: Paramount Pictures*