Face Your Fears!

Psycho (1960) Directed by Alfred Hitchcock Shown: Janet Leigh (as Marion Crane)

The whole month of October freaks me out.  Menacing faces on pumpkins, girls in slutty nurse costumes, the profusion of miniature candy bars – it’s all not normal…So yeah, I’m the scrooge that keeps her lights out on Halloween because even children look like serial killers to me. I just want to build a panic room in my home and go there ’til November.

It feels apropos to talk about how today is also “Face Your Fears Day.”  I have no idea who made up this holiday, but I blame Joe Rogan (as I do for most things I can’t explain).

I give you my favorite list of the 10 weirdest fears (and if you have any of these, write me so that I can exploit you for my own literary acclaim):

  1. Aulophobia: Fear of flutes (sounds like a bad band camp experience to me)
  2. Geniophobia: Fear of chins (think about it – how weird are chins?!)
  3. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words (I love the asshole who named this one)
  4. Linonophobia: Fear of string (for me, this includes people who talk about string theory)
  5. Phobophobia: Fear of fear (it is probably insanely hard to be you)
  6. Koinoniphobia: Fear of rooms (guessing this stems from your mom’s love of wallpaper)
  7. Pternophobia: Fear of being tickled by feathers (Uhhhh, this is more like a DREAM COME TRUE)
  8. Anatidaephobia: Fear that somewhere a duck is watching you (Bath time must have been a total nightmare for you)
  9. Consecotaleophobia: Fear of chopsticks (never ever ever underestimate a chopsticks splinter)
  10. Barophobia: Fear of gravity (likely now includes the movie with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney)

And assuming your phobias don’t include a fear of lists, you might get a kick out of The Phobia List – the webMD for all your neuroses.

What are your fears?

*Photo Source: Paramount Pictures*


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