Rites of Passage
There are certain rites of passage in a person’s life: Puberty. Scantron tests. Food service jobs.
In the life of a New Yorker, one of them is being mugged. And last night, the cosmos decided it was my turn.
Luckily, I wasn’t hurt – and after a dinner of ice cream sandwiches, I felt instantly better.
This morning, I’m mostly thinking about all the other rites of passage I’ve endured on the road to becoming a legit NYer. These are just a few. Would love to hear what yours have been in the comments section!
- Understand that if you fall down a sidewalk grate, it was just your time.
- Use lava soap to clean the black bottoms of your feet every day in the summer.
- Cut a piece of furniture in half because you couldn’t fit it in your doorway.
- Be able to name and justify your top 3 pizza places when your coworkers are debating the lunch order. Get this one wrong and risk social annihilation.
- Get into an empty train car at least once to learn that there’s a reason it’s empty. Sometimes it’s because there’s a naked person on the bench, sometimes it’s a shark.
- Give a tourist directions, only to realize with enormous guilt hours later that you sent them the wrong way. And then accept that sometimes it’s better not to help at all.
- Convince a friend not to move to Los Angeles by talking trash about nice weather and how “old” sunshine can get.
- Cross Times Square on a Saturday night without killing anyone.
- Tell a taxi driver you’re not from out of town and to turn off the meter because he’s going the wrong way.
- Do the math and decide that spending 50% of your salary on rent is okay because you GET TO LIVE IN NYC.
Also, this GIF Guide to Moving to New York City is SO funny and just what I needed!
*Photo Source: Flickr*